Editor’s Note: Decades after China’s opening up, intercultural relationships can still become an issue. A recent article titled “Single foreign females in China don’t have it easy,” published in Global Times Metro Shanghai on April 28, has sparked huge controversy. The Global Times has invited three people to share their views of interracial relationships in today’s China. An English friend, who just moved back to London from China, told me he missed China, and more importantly, the attention from Chinese women that he will never get in London. It amused me when another American guy friend made similar comments after he left Beijing. He can no longer date women as beautiful as those in China, but when he was there, complained that all the Chinese women he dated were hot but stupid, considering their level of English or cultural clashes. I told him once, if he could move his focus from boobs to the conversation, his problem would be solved. He laughed with embarrassment. Some Western men are certainly spoiled by Chinese women. My former roommate said Western guys would never dare to treat Swiss women the way they treated Chinese women.
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Every woman has had a friend who dated a guy who was clearly bad news, but she just couldn’t resist. Maybe, that “friend” was you. And yet, despite all the warnings and red flags, the pull of dating a “bad boy” was just too strong.
Despite my wish for a personal life, my children have always remained my number one priority, and I refuse to loosen my grip on that, to compromise their emotional security so I can meet my own or someone else’s selfish needs. Here’s the truth: dating while divorcing with young kids is complicated. It’s complicated, and messy, and full of panicky meltdowns where you turn the manual sideways and wonder if you’re actually doing it all wrong. But surprisingly, despite the enormous amount of people in this position, my recent Google searches on dating with kids post-divorce have turned up next to nothing on the subject.
There are lots of lists, of course, indicating the appropriate time to introduce your new partner to your children and how to do so smoothly. But I couldn’t find any brutally honest testimonials describing the way to be both a single mom and a girlfriend without screwing everything and everyone up in the process. I should probably start by saying I believe whole-heartedly that there is nothing wrong with dating when you have kids.
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Katherine Nagasawa. Alexandra Salomon. From virtual dates to getting stuck together on a boat, here’s how Chicagoans are navigating love and dating during the pandemic. Whether you’re single or in a decades-long relationship, it’s likely coronavirus has had an impact on your love life. With Illinois’ “stay-at-home” order and new social distancing rules in place, the pandemic has fundamentally changed how we’re supposed to interact with one another, and that can include our romantic partners.
Now, some couples are unexpectedly navigating long distance because of quarantine; other single folk are trying out virtual dates now that bars and restaurants are closed. Chicago dating coach Bela Gandhi said the disruption caused by COVID has made people seek out relationships and romantic encounters. Dating app data matches Gandhi’s observation. According to Tinder, there were more than 3 billion swipes on March 29th, the highest number of recorded swipes for a single day in the app’s history.
People have also been turning to non-dating-specific apps and games to meet and spend time with loved ones — some people reported that they’ve scheduled virtual dates and even attended wedding ceremonies in the Nintendo Switch game Animal Crossing. We wanted to get to the stories behind the stats, so we asked you how your relationships and dating lives have fared during COVID From learning how to use sex toys while staying socially distanced to quarantining on a boat with an ex-flame, here’s what you had to say about love, sex, and dating during the pandemic.
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If I could go back and tell my high school self only one thing about sex and dating, I’d have a long list to choose from. Maybe don’t break into your crush’s locker to try to leave him a secret admirer’s note because he will definitely catch you. Also, don’t change all of your interests to the same things your crush likes — he or she will eventually see through you. And of course, don’t stalk his or her Facebook before getting to know them because you can and will accidentally mention a family boat trip you weren’t supposed to know about.
Yeah, I needed help back then, but who doesn’t? In honor of all the lessons we learn after our teen years, here’s some advice from 20 different girls in their 20s.